can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I didn't notice because vodka
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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