I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
