is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
