Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
