bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
