And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
