is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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