i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
