Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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