in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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