Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
