Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
