i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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