I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
