rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He better not be in your backpack
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also, beer. Big fan.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
