Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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