You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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