I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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