I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
