How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
