Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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