dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
