I cannot find my penis.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
