Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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