yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
