Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I need moral support for this bender
Every concussion has its silver lining
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
