i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
