Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
