Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
