This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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