So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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