Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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