even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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