'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
