He is an equal opportunity slut.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
