glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
