we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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