It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
