okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
