She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
