oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
