I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
