is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
