I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
