Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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