Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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