Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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