I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
