The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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