so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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